Twitter | Search | |
Paul F. Tompkins
Comedian/Actorian: BoJack Horseman - Threedom - Superego - Instagram:
67,086
Tweets
2,614
Following
1,209,770
Followers
Tweets
Paul F. Tompkins 3h
Replying to @jmerriman
That I.... am... one?
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 3h
Replying to @BronzeHammer
Hahahaha
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 3h
Replying to @zaiderrr
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins retweeted
Marcella Arguello 4h
When u wanna do yoga AND say the n word
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 3h
Replying to @LadyKateBond
Jesus Christ
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 3h
Replying to @samantharobot
Maybe I never really said “writer” before? Why did I think I did and that it was safe?
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @PFTompkins
Anyway, see you soon, Vancouver
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
At the airport. In line to pay for lunch. Mom & little daughter ahead of me. LD: Where’s daddy? M: He had to get his wallet. LD: Hahaha M: Yes, he’s silly. [Dad walks up, Mom turns to him] M: Are you finished? Is that the extent of your little shenanigans? D: [silence]
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @BusyPhilipps
That’s a good one!
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @IfyNwadiwe
You think people wouldn’t want to hear ME spit about Christ’s love? Get real, Iffs.
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @paulandstorm
I honestly don’t mind small talk, it’s just that one thing
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @PFTompkins
But today I realized that from now on when anyone asks me “Why are you going there/what brings you to town” I will simply respond “FUNERAL”
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 4h
Replying to @PFTompkins
I don’t like telling the tuth because saying “actor” invites “what have I seen you in” (nothing they’ve seen) and “comedian” is worse because it just makes the driver feel embarrassed for me; since they haven’t heard of me, I must be struggling.
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 5h
Replying to @PFTompkins
I could not come up with any lies fast enough so I just said “I’d rather not talk about it.” They guy apologized & now I feel a little bad. But I dread someone asking me “Why are you traveling to [fill in city]?”
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 5h
Just tried to deflect the “So what do you do” Lyft driver question with “Writer” because there are usually no followup questions but today THERE WERE FOLLOWUPS.
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 5h
Replying to @rejectedjokes
Thank you Bennnnnnnn
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 5h
VANCOUVER! Come see me! And Marc Evan Jackson! Together! On stage! In tuxedos! TOMORROW NIGHT! Tickets:
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 6h
Replying to @BillCorbett
Was it a gender reveal party
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins 6h
Replying to @JohnRossBowie
Bless youse
Reply Retweet Like
Paul F. Tompkins retweeted
John Ross Bowie 6h
Was just listening to this gem with my kids:
Reply Retweet Like