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UCSB Nexustentialism
Daily Nexus satire section / the last bastion of the talentless and the self-defeated.
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Daily Nexus 3h
You don’t know what it is, but there is some unspoken tension permanently between you and your roommates. Lucky for you, the answer to your troubles is the roommate hierarchy. ()
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UCSB Nexustentialism retweeted
Daily Nexus Nov 15
Requirements for this competitive title included how many girls screamed when the song played, how many girls started gyrating on an elevated surface, and the amount of couples that went upstairs after the first chorus. ()
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UCSB Nexustentialism retweeted
Daily Nexus Nov 14
“I haven’t cried since I was in first grade, but seeing that video of all those frat dudes in suits dancing to the song made me wanna throw up,” said another fan. “It was at that moment that I knew… Mo Bamba had been forever tainted." ()
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Daily Nexus Nov 12
Replying to @Nexustentialism
Assistant Opinion Editor Hannah Jackson writes about freshman Daniel Diaz’s stress-eating habit this midterm season, and those he victimized along the way. ()
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UCSB Nexustentialism retweeted
Daily Nexus Nov 10
Those victimized by Diaz’s stress-eating habit include Subway workers tasked with his frequent visits and gross sandwich requests, and unsuspecting library-goers who are confronted with the weird smells that emanate from his backpack. ()
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Daily Nexus Nov 8
It’s been a few weeks, and we here at the Nexus hope you’re all settled in nicely to your long lectures and tedious sections. ()
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Daily Nexus Nov 6
Welcome to the Gaucho Voter’s Guide for Tuesday, since we all know that no one is reading the recycled paper-printed voter guide you got in the mail. ()
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UCSB Nexustentialism Nov 5
one taught me love, one taught me patience, one taught me pain
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UCSB Nexustentialism Nov 3
When your mom comes to parent’s weekend and you gotta pretend you never slap bags at dagers like this
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UCSB Nexustentialism Nov 3
We found this letter stuck to a halloween barricade, flapping in the wind
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UCSB Nexustentialism Nov 1
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Daily Nexus Oct 30
Please sit back, relax and peruse the selection of guys at your disposal, aged 21-30, in a 26 mile range. ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 29
If you ever wish to see me again, my bar-crossed lover, find me where we first met on the evening Thursday, Oct. 18 at around the same time. ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 28
Cuffing season is upon us, and with it, the announcements of some sweet Gaucho couplings! ()
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UCSB Nexustentialism Oct 24
Spooky SZN vs. Spooky SZA
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UCSB Nexustentialism retweeted
Daily Nexus Oct 24
Here’s a list of the five stages of grief you bidless Chads, Brads and Thads will likely find yourself grappling with. ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 22
Replying to @Nexustentialism
Staff writer Anita Dee writes about the struggles of being the aggressively single (but optimistic!) friend. ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 16
You’ve probably heard of the new bike renting program available to students, but are you aware of these great new opportunities? ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 16
You and your partner are astrologically compatible! To secure your love, your partner attempted to recreate your star-sign on your neck. ()
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Daily Nexus Oct 15
After a great night in which at least one of them came, Nguyen started groping around for his hoodie, telling Callahan that he was probably gonna head out. ()
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