Twitter | Search | |
Lauren Herschel
After what has been a surprisingly okayish Christmas, I had a moment today in SuperStore. Saw a lady who reminded me of my 92yo grandma, who even in the early stages of dementia, completely understood that my mom died. I thought I’d share the Ball in the Box analogy my Dr told me
Reply Retweet Like More
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
So grief is like this: There’s a box with a ball in it. And a pain button. And no, I am not known for my art skills.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
In the beginning, the ball is huge. You can’t move the box without the ball hitting the pain button. It rattles around on its own in there and hits the button over and over. You can’t control it - it just keeps hurting. Sometimes it seems unrelenting.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
Over time, the ball gets smaller. It hits the button less and less but when it does, it hurts just as much. It’s better because you can function day to day more easily. But the downside is that the ball randomly hits that button when you least expect it.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
For most people, the ball never really goes away. It might hit less and less and you have more time to recover between hits, unlike when the ball was still giant. I thought this was the best description of grief I’ve heard in a long time.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
I told my step dad about the ball in the box (with even worse pictures). He now uses it to talk about how he’s feeling. “The Ball was really big today. It wouldn’t lay off the button. I hope it gets smaller soon.” Slowly it is.
Reply Retweet Like
L|e|a|h 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
This is wonderful and completely described how I've been feeling about the loss of my brother. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope the ball keeps getting smaller for everyone.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @Laydee_El
Thank you. When you first talked about losing your brother my ball was still filling the whole box - it’s interesting how hearing of other people’s grief can both comfort in some weird way and make that ball hit the button more. I’m so sorry about your brother.
Reply Retweet Like
Coreen S🇨🇦🧡🏳️‍🌈 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
I love this. I’ve taken pictures of the thread. I can use this analogy in school. Thank You!
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @ClairesOwner
My Doctor is going to be so happy people liked this. Her friend shared it with her a little while after her mom died 11 years ago. Her friends mom died when she was 12. It’s nice people find comfort in analogy
Reply Retweet Like
Anne 29 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
This is a very helpful analogy. My parents' deaths were 29 years ago and I can vouch for the fact that the balls do get smaller but they NEVER go away
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 29 Dec 17
Replying to @DocGiani
I especially liked the part about how even when the pain button gets hit by the smaller ball, it hurts just as much. My dad died in 1996 when I was 20. The ball did get smaller but when it hit that button, I was surprised how much it hurt even years later.
Reply Retweet Like
Cathy Campbell 31 Dec 17
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
Thanks 4 sharing the BALL IN THE BOX analogy. My daughter died in July and we are adjusting to life without her. I know that people process grief differently & now I have a new analogy to share with my family. Currently we have different-sized balls and that's just the way it is.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 31 Dec 17
Replying to @ccampbel14
I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. My mom passed away in November and my family also has different sized balls going on. My doctor shared this analogy with me and I knew it would resonate with others as much as it did with me. I wish you and your family healing in 2018
Reply Retweet Like
Alicia H-R 10 Jan 18
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
I just had to come back and thank you for this. It has stuck with me since you posted it. Safe to say the ball has been very big this past week. It make it so much easier to grasp the pain of grief when I can visualize it.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 10 Jan 18
Replying to @poor_choices
I’m glad it helps. I know it helps me too. Hugs
Reply Retweet Like
Caryn Rose 10 Jan 18
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
this is insanely valuable to me. thank you for drawing this. and your art skills :) may your mother's memory be for a blessing.
Reply Retweet Like
Charlotte M. Freeman 10 Jan 18
Replying to @LaurenHerschel
Yup. 15 years after my brother died in an accident, the ball is small now, but boy oh boy, sometimes it still slams the button.
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 10 Jan 18
Replying to @charlottemf406
I understand that. My dad died 20 years ago and even though the ball got smaller, the hurt is still there when that button is hit
Reply Retweet Like
Lauren Herschel 10 Jan 18
Replying to @carynrose
My art skills are slightly better than my doctor’s were when she shared this. It’s a good thing art isn’t our day job. I’m glad you found it helpful. 🙂
Reply Retweet Like