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kels
i do the crossword in sharpie and i never learned the shortcut for “undo.” army, pao, likes william howard taft.
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kels 10h
Replying to @CJ_usawtfm @SmolTex
bb I would never
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kels 10h
Replying to @SmolTex
I mute every single person who even mildly annoys me and only talk to people who are engaging in good faith. Keeps me sane
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kels 10h
Replying to @UncleChaps
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kels 11h
Replying to @UncleChaps
oh I’m really good at that!!!!! I’m the Best at that actually
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kels 11h
Replying to @maxjrosenthal
yo I keep that shit largely off twitter but I am being tested
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kels 11h
Replying to @LadyLovesTaft
and now he’s busy fixing his rating scheme when do I get to pour out my heart
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kels 11h
I usually plan my mental breakdowns for evenings but, because of the time difference, my boyfriend is usually in a training meeting when I’m good and ready to cry about the futility of life so I am really in a pickle with appropriate scheduling
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kels 11h
Replying to @NickLelloJr
thank u
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kels 11h
Replying to @firstcavnowtank
SCREAMING
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kels retweeted
Festive Greg 11h
Me in my staff meeting today when my boss throws some crazy stuff out that no one in the shop was tracking:
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kels 11h
Replying to @leeeway27
he could always use a friend
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kels 12h
Replying to @antilinguist
breaking news there are SEVEN CATS but not all are pictured here
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kels 12h
my grandpa lives alone on a water reservoir in west texas and feeds stray animals and he has this many cats now
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kels 12h
Replying to @UncleChaps
this coming from a man whose nipples look like long, rubber snakes probably
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kels 12h
Replying to @AnyAFKat
psyop shit
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kels 13h
Replying to @Amanda_Kerri
be proud of your band of penises
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kels 13h
Replying to @LadyLovesTaft
this tweet is me attempting to work through why I watched so much of the Jetsons, a show famously popularized in the 1960s, as a child
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kels 13h
just take off your goddamn Apple Watch if you’re wearing formal attire, you’re not Judy Jetson or Steve Jobs
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kels 13h
Replying to @sgtjanedoe
please know, always and forever, I am a stalwart ally in the Cats movie tweets
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kels 13h
Replying to @ajduggins
stop this
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