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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈
Writer, comedian, performer. Shows at The Ruby and ACME theatre. I always have snacks.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 10h
recently at a networking event I met a dude who said he worked w/ you once and claimed he taught you where the g-spot was because according to him you "had no idea" Every woman in the circle had the same thought so please confirm for us: you were trolling him, right?
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 18h
Replying to @estevangalvez
Not only did I watch this on data but I also left my phone unattended so it autoplayed the next video and I wasn't even looking.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
I'M CRYING. THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING MY JOURNEY ❤️
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
I'M SENDING ALL THESE TWEETS USING DATA AND IT FEELS LIKE ONE OF THOSE VIDEOS YOU SEE OF A BABY GETTING A PAIR OF GLASSES AND SEEING THEIR PARENTS' UNBLURRED FACES FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. I COULD CRY.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
NOT TO MENTION AS I STATED BEFORE, ONLY GOD/MAYA RUDOLPH CAN JUDGE ME
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
PLUS THOSE SUDOKU PUZZLES MADE ME REAL GOOD AT MATH SO IT'S VERY MUCH A "THAT WHICH DIDNT KILL ME" SITUATION.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS, YES. IM 28. YES, I'VE HAD IT IN MY POWER TO GET MY OWN DATA PLAN LIKE AN ADULT. BUT IF YOU'VE EVER SEEN THE MENTAL DEBATE I GO THROUGH JUST WHEN IM COUPON SHOPPING FOR TOOTHPASTE, YOU'D UNDERSTAND.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
I DONT GET WIFI RECEPTION AT WORK. NO ONE KNOWS WHY. EVEN THE I.T. GUY IS LIKE 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
AND I KNOW. I *KNOOOWW* THIS IS SUCH A 1ST WORLD, PRIVILEGED PROBLEM TO HAVE BUT I DON'T CARE. IMMA RACK UP THOSE BAD PLACE POINTS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU👏DON'T👏KNOW 👏MY 👏STRUGGLE👏
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
MY LIFE FOR THE LAST 7 YEARS HAS BEEN A SERIES OF ANNOYINGLY ASKING FRIENDS TO LOOK STUFF UP WHEN I WAS RUNNING LOW AND TURNING DATA ON AND OFF WHILE ON THE ROAD TO CONSERVE AND DOING SUDOKU PUZZLES WHILE WAITING FOR THE BUS BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT DIDNT USE DATA
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
Replying to @LLcoolscharf
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, FOR AS LONG AS I'VE HAD A SMART PHONE, I'VE HAD TO STICK TO 2 GIGS OF DATA PER MONTH. 2 GIGS THAT I *SHARED* WITH MY *FAMILY*
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 22h
GUYS MY DAD FINALLY SWITCHED OUR FAMILY PLAN SO I HAVE UNLIMITED DATA.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 retweeted
Kids Write Jokes May 22
what is very very ugly you lol
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 22
Imagine being such a creep that falsely claiming you dated someone gets you trending worldwide.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 22
Pretty sure I have resting bitch face. Sometimes I catch my reflection and I swear it's a dog.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 22
Replying to @mitskileaks
It's trump, right? I'm assuming it's trump.
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 21
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 21
wow I've never had a tweet make me cry before ❤️
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 21
No one: Absolutely no one: Not even one person: Not a single soul: No one in the entire universe: Guy from that episode of Twilight Zone: *breaks glasses*
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Lady Laurenne of Scharf🐈 May 21
Replying to @drfrankensara
If twitter allowed a 5th option, it'd be "all of the above" so this is more of a horror story in which you can only pick one.
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