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The Jorvik Times
"All the News that's Fit to Illuminate and Painstakingly Copy"
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The Jorvik Times Oct 17
Once more conjures sad, imaginary dyke-measuring contest w/ Offa in ongoing attempt to undo all his predecessor did.
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The Jorvik Times Oct 10
Editorial Board: Um...for once at a total loss for words. But you should get whatever that is checked out, Donny.
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The Jorvik Times Oct 4
Replying to @donaeldunready
Per sources: BUILDING A MERCIA HAT S TS ON EVERYON , EXCEPT DONAELD.
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The Jorvik Times Oct 4
Chief Envoy calls "f**king moron," while Eorl Robert the Corker says Witan only thing between folc & "chaos."
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The Jorvik Times Oct 4
Things in Mercia more heavily regulated than spears: Sex Beer Cattle Sales Social Status It's time for common sense spear control.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 30
Editorial Board: A new low for the ruling & ever-sinking SFB (Simply Feckless Blowhard). How much lower can he go?
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The Jorvik Times Sep 27
As Isle of Wight folc struggle in wake of last week's storm, delays aid ships due to "very big sea" between them & mainland.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 26
Alcuin: With Offacare repeal again laid to rest, we remind that only Cuthbert can be disinterred in uncorrupted form.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 25
Breaking: Third thegn comes out against latest Offacare repeal effort, all but dooming it. Witan braces for backlash.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 24
Report: Revised Offacare repeal edict adds new monetary incentives for 2 holdout thegns in attempt to secure Witan approval.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 24
Bede: assails non-Angle athletes standing for justice, but helps normalize & sustain Angle-Supremacists...
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The Jorvik Times Sep 24
Feats of Strength Special: King takes time from busy schedule to whinge about athletes' protests against him; bans them from Great Hall.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 22
After verbal salvos between and Finno-Jute king of N. Kent, Kimmo Jongmund, folc wonder if leaders are in fact toddlers.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 20
Müller vents frustration reviewing parchments, cites mess of inconsistent spellings & unannounced syntactic shifts...
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The Jorvik Times Sep 19
Breaking: threatens to "totally destroy" North Kent at annual Cyningsmoot, inches closer to starting Weald War III.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 9
Replying to @a7_FIN_SWE
It may take them the full week to decipher in full, after which Irma should - SHOULD - have finished with us...
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The Jorvik Times Sep 9
To our semi-literate readers: We will suspend publication next week as Abbess Irma punishes us for treating Eorthe like a privy.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 7
Wisdom and popularity of Thegn Bernardus of Sanderstead manifesting in the oddest of places: 🇮🇲🌹✊️
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The Jorvik Times Sep 5
Bede: to paraphrase another critic - seeks to show all power in Mercia is Angle, straight & male. Any others are targets.
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The Jorvik Times Sep 4
Sunnandæg Poll: supporters (all 8 of them) demand one simple thing - erase ALL EVIDENCE Offa was ever king.
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