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Jonah Falcon
Actor/writer, all around nice, MOSTLY average guy.
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Jonah Falcon 3h
Works fine for me.
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Jonah Falcon 4h
I'm literally pony hung.
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Jonah Falcon 7h
Overheard outside: "Hey, dude. Can you lick the back of my ears? My girlfriend won't, and I just need it done. No homo, I just need it bad."
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Jonah Falcon 9h
Overheard outside: "Can you hold my dick for me while I piss? My hands are oily,and don't want to get it dirty. No homo,man. Just help me."
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Jonah Falcon 9h
Overheard outside: "Thanks, bro. Can you shave my ass for me? I'm not gay or nothing. Just don't like having a hairy ass."
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Jonah Falcon 9h
I'm not into kids, I'm into men. Contact me in 5 years.
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Jonah Falcon 9h
Overheard outside: "Thanks,dude. Maybe you can use your tongue to get my nips hard? No homo,just the rough wetness gets them harder faster."
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Jonah Falcon 9h
I can't. You'd be impaled a foot away.
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Jonah Falcon 9h
Overheard outside: "Hey bro, rub my nipples softly, so they get harder. No homo, just like you doing it for me."
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Jonah Falcon 9h
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Jonah Falcon retweeted
Orlando Jones 10h
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Jonah Falcon 10h
A chaotic evil halflng ranger/barbarian named Belkar.
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Jonah Falcon 13h
Duggars, Duck Dynasty, this: - they hate minorities, but they do love their molestations. A lot.
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Jonah Falcon 16h
Thanks, grew it all natural. Let me know if you want to compare.
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Jonah Falcon 16h
Quick poll: ladies, how many of you have trouble driving because your tits are too big and get in the way of the steering wheel?
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Jonah Falcon 16h
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Jonah Falcon 16h
Doubt it. Past stories are considered dung to be tossed away by Disney.
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Jonah Falcon 16h
I'm trying to figure out how can fuck up something like GIVING SOFTWARE AWAY FREE. Seriously. IT'S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD.
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Jonah Falcon 17h
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Jonah Falcon 17h
Hope you had a nice birthday (mine is 7/29 too).
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