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Isabel Hardman
Assistant Editor, The Spectator; presenter of Radio 4's Week in Westminster. 'Why We Get the Wrong Politicians' is out NOW! Also known as
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Isabel Hardman 2h
Can people think of instances over the past few decades where prime ministers have responded well to being collared by an upset member of the public while on a visit? Would love some examples.
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Isabel Hardman 2h
Replying to @newerablog
Nope. In a loving relationship you are still two separate people. You come together in trust, and trusting someone means you’re not in charge of their movements or day to day spending decisions.
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Yes, it has. Indeed, I am fundraising for alongside my work for Refuge for precisely that reason. Having expressed an interest in this, I do hope you will donate...
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Replying to @DdotReed
I think some humility amongst Christians and a willingness to learn rather than assume that they’ve nailed how to be married would go a long way and potentially save some lives.
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Replying to @DdotReed
Despite it being prevalent in its congregations. The model of male headship and an assumption that Christians have got relationships “right” makes it taboo to even discuss when things are going wrong.
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Replying to @DdotReed
...end up with the perpetrator monitoring whether their victim buys a cup of tea, a pair of tights, the “wrong” groceries etc. My experience of Christian approaches to marriage doesn’t give me much faith the church thinks about abuse at all
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Replying to @DdotReed
I disagree. Goals, mortgage etc are one thing. What your partner does with their money on a day to day basis is another. I’m not sure you fully appreciate how pernicious economic abuse is. It will often be in the name of these good things like buying a home but...
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Isabel Hardman 3h
Replying to @gabyhinsliff
Bravo.
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Isabel Hardman 4h
Replying to @DdotReed
Equal claim?? No. No one has a claim on me and likewise I don’t on anyone else. I don’t think relationships are about claims. They’re about two people working and living together, but they don’t merge into one person.
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Isabel Hardman 5h
Replying to @MartineBBC
Yes but by that point you’ve left and are safe.
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Which reminds me of why I’ve been doing all these silly sporting events this year for . Last one is on Saturday. There aren’t enough refuge spaces. So please donate to give more women that chance to run away
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @IsabelHardman
The vast - terrifying - majority of domestic murders happen when a woman is leaving. She’s far more vulnerable if she doesn’t have somewhere safe to go.
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Anyway, the problem with running away money is that victims of abuse often don’t have it and the perpetrator will have purposefully isolated them from friends and family to make leaving harder. That’s why women need refuge spaces.
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @JohnnyPixels
And accept that them being ok doesn’t mean you making all the decisions for them
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @liarpoliticians
I didn’t say people should trust their other halves to put on matching items of clothing or turn their bed into a desk...
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Response that I always get to this is “but that suggests you don’t trust your other half” or “when you’re in a couple you have decided to link your lives”. Yes, but healthy couples don’t spend all day every day together. You trust your partner to go off to work and come home etc
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @DdotReed
And it’s not about “for when things go wrong”. It’s about people trusting each other so they don’t need to monitor each other’s spending. I don’t follow my partner around every day for the same reason.
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @DdotReed
I’m delighted that your relationship is so healthy but I’m afraid our society still models a patriarchal one in which the man controls financial decisions. My partner and I manage to have a mortgage, car, weekly groceries etc without a shared account
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @Ali_Tonkin
It’s weird how many people then suggest that you don’t fully trust your other half. I’d argue firstly that it’s a sign of mutual respect and secondly that we trust our partners to leave the house and come back each day without us tracking them. Money is no different.
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Isabel Hardman 6h
Replying to @DdotReed
I would turn what you’re saying on its head and argue that if you truly trust and love someone then you won’t have a problem with them having access to their own funds that you can’t touch.
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