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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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Working on integrating a worry I have: everything is built on a shaky (relatively), susceptible tool- and supply-chain and I feel very foolish when I realize I'm taking things for granted -- also feel like I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop (things to fall apart)
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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In response, I've been trying to just "pick" a point and set the baseline there
E.g. friend asked me during a bit of an abstract conversation, "how do you *know* that what you know is true?"
"You have to pick a foundational thing to rest on." E.g. 'what I sense is true'
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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E.g. Google docs will always be there. Or free email. Plumbing. Grocery stores. A way to get to work. A safe/warm bed
If any of those go away for long enough that (my) life is permanently and negatively affected -- that probably means there's a bigger problem at hand
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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Roam Research. Hot water. Time with friends. A phone. Access to safe, public spaces to walk, jog around
Net gain to me and world will be higher if I treat these things as baseline, and get excited to build something resting on them as foundation
twitter.com/warmbott/statu…
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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and the things that have been around forever? Still no guarantee
A non-serious example: vim + .txt files + grep is probably a great, future-resistant way to take notes
But this Big Screen crap was only made in the 70s
twitter.com/HuanWin/status…
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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More seriously, I know intellectually that
1) nothing is guaranteed
2) I, specifically, am *very* privileged to have what I do / be where I am
yet brain continues to _insist_ that I'm the verge of losing everything at any moment
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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(actually working this out in explicit form for the first time, in public, whoops! need to pin down these thoughts, keep going.)
wait. that makes no sense: if it's all on the verge of slipping away, why am I simultaneously acting like it's permanent, yet feeling like it's not?
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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Relatively high verbal intelligence (as opposed to my NEET levels of emotional intelligence lmao) is useful in exploring / defining these feelings, pinning them down
Less so in working with them or even dealing. Gonna go do some pull/push-ups, + meditate/lean into the fear and-
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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the recklessness that sometimes appears when I'm about to do something viscerally frightening and *do it anyway*
There's a certain mental/emotional 'motion' in there that feels salient🤔
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