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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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In response, I've been trying to just "pick" a point and set the baseline there
E.g. friend asked me during a bit of an abstract conversation, "how do you *know* that what you know is true?"
"You have to pick a foundational thing to rest on." E.g. 'what I sense is true'
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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E.g. Google docs will always be there. Or free email. Plumbing. Grocery stores. A way to get to work. A safe/warm bed
If any of those go away for long enough that (my) life is permanently and negatively affected -- that probably means there's a bigger problem at hand
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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Roam Research. Hot water. Time with friends. A phone. Access to safe, public spaces to walk, jog around
Net gain to me and world will be higher if I treat these things as baseline, and get excited to build something resting on them as foundation
twitter.com/warmbott/statu…
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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and the things that have been around forever? Still no guarantee
A non-serious example: vim + .txt files + grep is probably a great, future-resistant way to take notes
But this Big Screen crap was only made in the 70s
twitter.com/HuanWin/status…
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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More seriously, I know intellectually that
1) nothing is guaranteed
2) I, specifically, am *very* privileged to have what I do / be where I am
yet brain continues to _insist_ that I'm the verge of losing everything at any moment
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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(actually working this out in explicit form for the first time, in public, whoops! need to pin down these thoughts, keep going.)
wait. that makes no sense: if it's all on the verge of slipping away, why am I simultaneously acting like it's permanent, yet feeling like it's not?
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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Instead of 'live like you'll die tomorrow, plan like you'll live forever", Brain is trying to "live like I'll live forever, plan like you'll die tomorrow" ??
(Not that pithy quotes should guide your life choices, but the inanity of Brain is captured in the juxtaposition here)
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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Relatively high verbal intelligence (as opposed to my NEET levels of emotional intelligence lmao) is useful in exploring / defining these feelings, pinning them down
Less so in working with them or even dealing. Gonna go do some pull/push-ups, + meditate/lean into the fear and-
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Huan
@HuanWin
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31. sij |
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the recklessness that sometimes appears when I'm about to do something viscerally frightening and *do it anyway*
There's a certain mental/emotional 'motion' in there that feels salient🤔
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illegibleparadise
@warmbott
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28. sij |
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Been there and found that integrating was a distraction for me. Working on more generative integration like what more can I have from not capping my aspiration, focusing on strengths vs weaknesses etc helped a lot. Imo give both a shot and see what gives you more dopamine juice
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Huan
@HuanWin
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28. sij |
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The biggest blocker there is I often get stuck worrying that what I built, with passion and energy, won't last
But what does anyway. Plus I think you're pointing in a direction that overall energizes me, and that's valuable in itself, enduring creation aside
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