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Tim Bridge
Vermont's Funniest Comedian 2017 // The Barenaked Ladies of People // Dogs // Comedy // Dogs
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Tim Bridge Sep 19
IT’S. SO. TRANSPARENT. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
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Tim Bridge Sep 19
MFW my girlfriend is midway through a sentence that started with “So don’t interrupt me this time, but...”
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Tim Bridge Sep 19
NEW YORK! Let’s hang out! Or just come watch me do comedy, I’d actually prefer that.
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Tim Bridge Sep 17
My life aspiration is to one day come up with an idea even remotely as hilarious as this.
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Tim Bridge Sep 16
has a phenomenal standup bit about how Guy Fieri is great andeveryone shits on him for no reason
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Tim Bridge retweeted
Aparna Nancherla Sep 15
ever smell your fart & think “Honestly? not my best work”
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Tim Bridge Sep 11
Replying to @CarmenLagala
I, on a weekly basis, consider how hard it would be to pass for 14 so I can order from the kid’s menu. JUST PUT CHANGE CHICKIE TENDERS ON THE ADULT MENU DAMMIT!
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Tim Bridge Sep 11
Hyperbole is decimating the entire fabric of human society.
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Tim Bridge Sep 11
I use this same format when it’s the anniversary of me adopting my dog.
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Tim Bridge Sep 8
I love the respect and admiration I get from my pets when I feed them. The only other time I get that kind of love is by being a white man in America literally all the time.
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Tim Bridge Sep 7
Vermont’s pretty great because one of our senators was threatened by The Joker and murdered by Lex Luthor and we like don’t even give a shit about him versus the other guy.
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Tim Bridge retweeted
Mike Patermonster Sep 6
My pals and I won something!! Come to on 9/12, 8:30pm to see us try to win again!!
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Tim Bridge Sep 1
Excited to announce I’ve been cast as Gumby in the live action reboot.
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Tim Bridge retweeted
Aparna Nancherla Sep 1
I wrote about the thing
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Tim Bridge Sep 1
“A Day In The Life of a Tim was filmed in front of a live studio audience that thought they were seeing a taping of Deal or No Deal”
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Tim Bridge retweeted
Ally Maynard Aug 28
Women's careers are hurt more by having babies than men's are for sexually assaulting coworkers.
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Tim Bridge Aug 30
Lucky to have been raised in the “American Idol” generation because now when anything doesn’t work out for me I just play “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter once and I’m 100% all better.
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Tim Bridge retweeted
JEN KIRKMAN Aug 28
Last year I predicted that while a man may be taking his time to reflect or get better - whatever it means for him - that now that the sexy story is over - people will go back to ignoring the women they put through the ringer while the story was unfolding....
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Tim Bridge Aug 28
I used to work at this restaurant where the manager would grab all the female servers’ asses and he was fired but then he came back ten months later and we all gave him a standing ovation.
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Tim Bridge retweeted
Emily Heller Aug 28
Cool cool so it was a drop in cool so the audience didn’t get a chance to consent to this shit either cool cool love my job love my workplace great to feel valued and protected!! FYI I ran the light at the Cellar once and that was enough for them to never have me back
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