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Morgan May 11
I'm sorry if I'm being a bad friend lately! I'm also being a bad partner, bad sibling & bad kid, bad student, bad blogger, and generally bad at functioning, because frankly, my mental health is possibly the worst it's ever been! But I still love y'all and I'm trying my best 😭
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Morgan
It's time for a Morgan Overshares About Their Mental Illness Thread! We've got all the classics: delusions about evil living inside my body, wanting to be dead a lot, anxiety, depression, eating disorder thoughts, occasional huge meltdowns, self-harm and much more!
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
CN: suicide I've been trying to find the answer to the question "When do I need to phone the crisis team about wanting to die really bad?" and I'm getting the sense that it's, at the very least, before I start trying to find clean pants to die in
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
CN: suicide again I had a semi-plan involving a body of water, but i managed to talk myself into waking my boyfriend up to talk to him about it, which became me tearfully explaining why my death was necessary for everyone's wellbeing And I've been keeping a lot of things ...
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
... on the DL because I hate that people worry so much about me, but then I feel sick with guilt that I'm lying by omission to people I love I had a really bad time recently where I self-harmed, and I didn't tell my entire support network the part where I also, um...
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
CW: self-harm, delusion ... clawed at my throat and face, went at my arms, throat and face with the pointy bits of tweezers, and maybe also gave my face one teeny pussy cut with a blade. You know, to remove the evil inside me, which I'm sure I can physically feel ...
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
CW: self-harm and delusions again ... in particular body parts, and which my Not-Logical Brain is sure will come out of me in the form of black goop if I can just cut deep enough. Once the evil is out of me, Not-Logical Brain thinks everyone around me will be safe from evil
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
So like, that's fun! And then sometimes I'll bite myself or headbutt a wall or chew the fuck out of my inner cheeks, and maybe I'll tell people, but maybe I won't, because I'm predictably insane and a mess and trash and thus why does it even matter?*
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
*It matters because people care about me and want to be informed about my state of mental health, but it's very hard to keep that in my mind and believe it. Anyway, my point here is that I'm having a really bad fuckin time and it's a relief to share that ...
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Morgan May 11
Replying to @Gr8NinjaMorgan
... but it's also hard, even for Morgan Overshares About Everything Peschek, to admit when you're drowning Anyway like, stay safe kids and I'm sorry for being insane
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