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@FateOfTwist_ | |||||
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Gosh my writing is so stodgy and lectury, maybe talking down, a hint of almost sanctimony?
I'd like to change it. Your reflections on how this comes off to you, tone, would be nice. Either replied here or DMs (preferably not in reply to other threads)
mobile.twitter.com/FateOfTwist_/s…
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Tomasz Kaye (bitbutter)
@mormo_music
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13. sij |
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For me the last clause particularly difficult to parse. The rest was okay. Could you trim more words? (fundamentally) and swap some for more conversational alts (concept <=> idea)
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Fate Of Twist
@FateOfTwist_
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14. sij |
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Which is "the last clause"? Can you link it?
Second recommendation is good, and I think I realised I should be doing something like that somewhere in there.
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Fate Of Twist
@FateOfTwist_
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19. stu |
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This is also a clever ploy to get you to read this :^)
(^:
:^)
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