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GoaT FacE
son of the internet xendhoosx@gmail.com
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GoaT FacE retweeted
forest fr1ends 18h
- according to the book this brown one will allow you to see all life as nothing more than a series of colourful vibrations that ripple across the gossamer like fabric of our collective consciousness. - what about if i eat this red one.? - you’ll shit your liver out...
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GoaT FacE Nov 26
Boris: I, uh, bwah I, I er... What should I do? Photographer: Just act natural Boris:
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GoaT FacE retweeted
john Aug 1
Me: if it's a boy let's call him Barry Her: ok Waiter: good evening Me: good evening Barry
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GoaT FacE retweeted
Phil Wang Nov 18
My name in the army
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GoaT FacE retweeted
k e i t h 🐤🥔 15 Dec 15
me: "what's your favorite xmas movie?" R2D2: "bee-beep bleep boop beep" me: "die hard isn't a xmas movie you fucking pedal bin"
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GoaT FacE retweeted
GoaT FacE 8 May 18
Look at this idiot
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GoaT FacE retweeted
chuuch Nov 10
a pink bullet traveling over 1000 feet per second passes through my prefrontal cortex, severs my corpus callosum, and exits through my occipital lobe, killing me instantly. Everyone cheers. It's a girl
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GoaT FacE Oct 23
Replying to @EdCarroll51
Sorry, not sorry.
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GoaT FacE Oct 23
When chickens stop laying eggs it's because they're going through the henopause
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GoaT FacE retweeted
GoaT FacE 24 Feb 14
I'm sorry you're just not NASA material "Why?" Well, you wrote 'red' then crossed it out & put 'human' under blood type on your application.
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GoaT FacE retweeted
GoaT FacE 26 Nov 14
[storming out of NASA design meeting] "come back Jim.." not until you add a cup holder "but it's- EVEN MY FUCKING KIA HAS A CUP HOLDER DAVID
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GoaT FacE retweeted
the drake gatsby 🎄 Oct 19
[Tour of NASA Headquarters] Guide: So NASA was founded in July of 1958 with the goal- Me: *interrupting* Is it true the moon won’t bleed no matter how many times you stab it? Guide: *into walkie talkie* He’s back.
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GoaT FacE retweeted
Ollie Garch: Redux Oct 16
Travel Agent: “Where to?” Thom Yorke: “Nhew Yorke”
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GoaT FacE retweeted
Steeve again Oct 10
[puts tiny pack of smokes in voodoo dolls hand] you can come home now Dad
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GoaT FacE retweeted
Kellen Sep 3
there are 20 billion hot dogs made each year they are each 6 inches long that's 10 billion feet of hot dogs the moon is only 1 billion feet away from earth so that means... [narrows eyes] 𝙝𝙤𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙜 𝙢𝙤𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙙𝙜𝙚
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GoaT FacE retweeted
GoaT FacE 10 Jan 14
*stood on Eiffel tower watching a beautiful sunset* Sara? *Gets down on one knee* *audible gasp* "Yes?" Help my knee is made of magnets
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GoaT FacE retweeted
leigh Sep 25
Sir David Attenborough: "these birds feed their chicks a sort of regurgitated porridge" my idiot brain: ...throatmeal
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pixelated boat aka “mr tweets” Sep 25
This is the strangest part of the transcript. I think Trump got some bad legal advice
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GoaT FacE retweeted
MehGyver Sep 25
ME: Hey I just found out wrestling isn’t real. THE ROCK: But I’m real, right? ME: I don’t know. I hope so. THE ROCK: *Reaching out as he fades from reality* I’m real, right Andrew? ME: *Holding back tears* You’re real to me, The Rock.
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GoaT FacE Sep 25
Interviewer: What makes you think you'd be a good PAT Tester? Me: *drop kicks interviewer's monitor off his desk* Interviewer: You start on monday.
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