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Lady Aurelia
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Lady Aurelia Jan 29
No one likes a know-it-all, darling.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 28
But yes – I commissioned a mobile cryo trap to help me on my many hunting trips, and to silence talkative inebriates at the theater.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 28
“Action skill”? What a *gauche* name. I prefer to think of my Diadem as a *accoutrement de mort*.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 28
Turned out he was allergic, which was less funny, and then got demonstrably more funny, then got slightly less funny again.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 28
One time I poisoned my brother Alistair by pouring Cliff Condensationz™ into his brandy canteen. It was an absolute lark!
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Invest in genetically engineered diamond animals. They’re getting bewilderingly popular.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Build a house made of money. If the logistics of this confuse you, make more money.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Write down your time, withdraw that much money, and burn it. This establishes dominance.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
At parties, ask someone what they make in a year. When they respond, use a stopwatch to time your laughter.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
These tactics are highly effective with people like, say, union leader Soha White, whose children are as adorable as they are vulnerable.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
If your workforce is about to unionize, make an indirect threat in a public venue.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
A good way to obtain more money: already possess a great deal of money. Then wait. To pass the time, count your money.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Buy in bulk. Equipment, real estate, orphans – go big, as they say, or go home, as they say.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
While I wait for the tattooed tart to finish speaking to that dull alien thing, I shall give out free financial advice.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
A brief respite from my daily duties as the richest woman in the universe.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
I tried to explain to her *goons,* my jaunt on the moon was but a holiday.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
An irascible redhead – “Tulip” maybe – requested my presence on Pandora. Said she needed Vault Hunters, that my time with Jack qualified me.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Where I might purchase an antihistamine? I’m allergic to poverty, and this planet has swelled my sinuses to the size of a small dog.
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Just shamed the blonde braggart to the verge of tears. His appallingly rural girlfriend had to comfort him. Today’s off to a cracking start!
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Lady Aurelia Jan 27
Yes, I am.
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