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Dr. Emily
“Animal lover and vet on ’s hit show, the Incredible ”.
751
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111
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24,359
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Tweets
Dr. Emily May 21
Kitchen trash cans have only two statuses: 1. I just put a new bag in 2. stuff is rolling off the mound on top
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Dr. Emily May 15
Of all the words my 2yo will repeat after me, he always declines saying "no"
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Dr. Emily May 11
Replying to @DrEmilyThomas
India said "mommy, why are you wearing red lipstick?! It makes you look WORSE!!"
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Dr. Emily May 11
When you're playing "Em Fatale" at your murder mystery party and you don't feel like wearing a dress &Hoodie
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Dr. Emily May 9
Replying to @SamanthaNiemi2
😅
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Dr. Emily May 7
Animal digestion: Dog and cow = garbage disposal. Cat = boomerang. Horse = single toilet at a bean eating contest with 1/2 inch pipes
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Dr. Emily May 6
Somewhere, riding on a cat, there's an extremely proud flea who's trying to convince his wife to come look
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Dr. Emily May 6
What a 2 yo REALLY wants for their birthday: 1. Cake 2. Anything you can place just out of reach (better if sharp or toxic) 3. Cat food.
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Dr. Emily May 5
OMG! So sorry guys !! A friend accidentally posted on my twitter account and then deleted it and I just found out!
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Dr. Emily May 1
Working in the vet profession: when asking someone on the phone if "her nipples are hard" doesn't require a blocked number or a husky voice
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Dr. Emily Apr 30
Replying to @sfgofisf
😱
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Dr. Emily Apr 30
Some say the only betrayal greater than cheating on your spouse is keeping a secret stash of the "good" Easter candy!
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Dr. Emily Apr 29
Replying to @friendmuhammad1
thanks!! I'll keep tweeting for everyone's entertainment!
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Dr. Emily Apr 29
Getting your dog annually tested for heartworms without getting prevention is like getting annually tested for STDs, but refusing condoms
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Dr. Emily Apr 27
Replying to @SAR_Taz_35
thanks! I just educated myself on clipping adipose fins! Learn something new everyday
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Dr. Emily Apr 26
Replying to @joshuahrogers
😂
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Dr. Emily Apr 24
vet world; sometimes it's fluffy kittens, sometimes it's finding the amputated tip of a goat's penis stuck to the tube of lube in the sink
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Dr. Emily Apr 21
Happy Easter!! Here's some on-call Text with :
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Dr. Emily Apr 17
"Yes, hello, 911? I'd like to report an outlaw... "
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Dr. Emily Apr 15
Replying to @KathyLG @DrPol
He escaped our fence and ran away after we neutered him
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