Twitter | Search | |
Jack's Dad
Just an ordinary dad of two, husband of one, pointing out the funny (and often ridiculous) side of parenting. Moderately funny 65% of the time.
5,568
Tweets
4,003
Following
6,423
Followers
Tweets
Jack's Dad 2m
We don't really know much about the person who came up with the phrase "Slept like a baby". But what we do know is that they sure as shit didn't have a baby.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 12h
Having a 2nd child is more difficult than the 1st for one very simple reason. With the 1st you could swear as much as you needed to while they were a baby. But with the 2nd you already have one around that you can't swear in front of. Nightmare.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 13h
Now I think about it...I don't think I've ever seen my feet. Maybe I don't actually have any?!
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 13h
Replying to @jakijellz
Huh. I've never really thought about it. I just don't feel quite right without socks on. No idea why.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 14h
Replying to @MomOnMiddle
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 14h
Replying to @vrsckllr
They certainly don't help.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 15h
Sometimes I'll like your comment and then reply 3 hours later. I like to build suspense. Also, I'm easily distracted.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 15h
Replying to @MomOnMiddle
That's a word I've literally never heard before today. 😅
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 16h
Replying to @Livingwithajude
I might go with heels... 😂
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 17h
Hmm...this serious question definitely warrants some thought. 'Hot as tits' perhaps? 😂
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 17h
Please try to keep calm ladies, I have my 3/4 lengths on! 😂
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 17h
Replying to @stopbouncing
Optimism or denial? 😅
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 17h
Very hot! Apart from when it's cold as balls. Then they're very cold. 😂
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 20h
Replying to @fatherhoodcouk
June 2020.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 20h
Toddler fact #245: It is physically impossible for a toddler to throw up and hit anything less than 5 hard to clean items.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad 20h
Nawwww! Thank you! 😊
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad Apr 20
I genuinely didn't even bring a jacket out with me this morning. After 15 long months it seems that winter may finally be over. Morning all!
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad Apr 19
Replying to @MissGStreets
You mean old jokes or old people? 😂
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad Apr 19
An old lady at the bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Reply Retweet Like
Jack's Dad Apr 19
Replying to @Caroleconscious
And that's when the screaming started...
Reply Retweet Like