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Conan O'Brien
The voice of the people. Sorry, people.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 17
Two of my favorite people stopped by to talk about fornicating in nature and revenge fantasies.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 16
I'm all for creative ways to market a film, but I still have issues with the "Guaranteed Aquaman-Free" sticker on this can of tuna.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 15
My favorite part of true crime podcasts is the incredible suspense I feel when I’m waiting for the MeUndies promo code.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 14
I can't truly get in the Christmas spirit until my latte makes my breath smell like I orally pleasured a candy cane.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 13
Thank you to for this great personalized mug by . I’m both honored and offended.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 13
Gift cards: the best way to say "I remembered you while I was at CVS."
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Conan O'Brien Dec 12
I was truly honored to sign this tattoo of my first mugshot.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 12
At this point, wouldn’t it be more efficient if the White House just hired a warden?
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Conan O'Brien Dec 12
No one has ever told me I drink too much, and that’s the main reason I drink alone.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 12
I just realized in Seattle, that I am mortal.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 11
I’m selling this limited edition poster by on the tour.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 11
When Trump's kids are bad, they get coal subsidies in their stockings.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 10
Starting a tutoring company that only teaches entertainment reporters how to pronounce "Saoirse."
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Conan O'Brien Dec 10
. and I get to the bottom of our failed double date @
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Conan O'Brien Dec 9
I bet Hillary no longer finds it funny when she walks into a bagel place and people chant, "Lox her up!"
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Conan O'Brien Dec 8
Aaa yes, that time of year again when we all break out the word ‘Tis.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 7
As part of her holiday give-away Ellen just gave everyone in her audience their own Netflix show.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 6
Time to do the same thing I do every year at this time: hire the FBI to figure out who my Secret Santa was in 1995. I will find you, candle-giver.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 5
I like my pizza like I like my pizza: pizza.
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Conan O'Brien Dec 4
If you Google “How do I stop receiving Pottery Barn catalogs?” the top result is a page with instructions for faking your own death.
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