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Abby Rae
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Abby Rae Dec 27
“Crotch harmonica...some may call it a vibrator.”
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Abby Rae Dec 27
Oral Thrush would be a great band name.
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Abby Rae Dec 19
I farted in the shower this morning and it sounded like how the aliens talk in Signs.
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Abby Rae Dec 18
Fun fact: drinking an entire bottle of “American White Table Wine” (only the finest for me) does not motivate you to wrap presents. However it does motivate you to chain smoke on your patio.
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Abby Rae Dec 17
Because I’m the worst ever, I finally started watching The L Word. We can all agree that the powersuites that wears is our favorite character, right?
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Abby Rae Dec 8
“And that poor guy had to play a clown the whole time!” -My mom referring to screech on Saved By The Bell.
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Abby Rae Dec 7
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Abby Rae Dec 7
Remember the days when you’d go to the work Christmas party, spill wine on the table, yell at your boss, and sing karaoke? Last night was those days.
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Abby Rae Dec 6
Replying to @KatieRadio1
Yes, you should ring the alarm about this.
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Abby Rae Dec 6
would you agree Kathleen Turner would be the only choice?
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Abby Rae Dec 6
Feeling hungover. It’s hard to keep my head up. Sitting in a sales meeting with my neck at a 90 degree angle so I can rest my head on my own shoulder. I 💯 look like the bent neck lady from haunting of hill house.
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Abby Rae Dec 5
I just made a loop through the company happy hour. Fly was down the whole time. Go me!
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Abby Rae Dec 5
Sometimes when I step outta the shower & my hairs a lil wavy, I look like a blonde timothee chalamet. Well, my hair resembles his. I still look like a gremlin in the face.
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Abby Rae Dec 4
I truly love being at the Post Office. It is one of my favorite places. That is all
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Abby Rae Dec 3
I swear, if I hear “quid pro quo” one more time...I’ll look it up and find out what it means.
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Abby Rae Dec 1
I’ve been farting under this blanket for the last half hour. Now I can never ever move.
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Abby Rae Nov 14
I went to to buy hairspray and dental floss. I left with a new lip color, nail polish, and tampons.
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Abby Rae Oct 26
Adding fireball to hot apple cider is a nice treat.
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Abby Rae Oct 24
Sometimes you have one of those days you feel like a user, a boozer, and a loser. So I’m watching Jerri Blank is my personal hero.
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Abby Rae Oct 22
Everyone talks about the chicken sandwich at Chick-fil-A and Popeyes, but have you ever had an Original Chicken Sandwich from ???
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