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Robert Clarke-Chan
Freelance writer, podcaster and mal vivant.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 18
Did I ever tell you about the time I crossed a sheep with a sea cow? Oh, the ewe manatee!
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 17
Replying to @chelcxtian
NAILED IT
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 17
Replying to @999RPMs
For example, here's me: airball garbology sleep apnea
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 17
Go to . Enter your birth year. Pick the three words that best define you.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 17
Thanks, man! has been very busy and I didn't even notice. Apologies to Dawn Anderson, Alexis Simpson, and Anne Yatco - we'll get it straightened out once Ray's game releases, I'm sure.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 17
I think Samurai Jack would be a close, but boring fight. Obi Wan vs. *Aku* ... now that oughta ruffle some feathers.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 13
Evil Chan is unwilling to concede that he is The Fairest, Most Balanced, Most Humble Ref in the World™, but did end the night without cheesecake on her face, so he may not yet be The Best...
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 7
It is impossible to make the president look more foolish than he makes himself. But you can make him look *differently* foolish.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 4
My movie’ about a violent, alienated loser in a gritty, ‘70s urban hellscape. So “Taxi Driver”? No - it’s about a sympathetic guy who’s been pushed to kill! So “Death Wish”? No! He’s a sad sack whose comedy is no longer in vogue, so he lashes out at society! So an autobiography?
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Robert Clarke-Chan Oct 1
Scary Spice’s husband sent Toots a suit of armor this spring. Mel’s male mailed Mayall mail in May, y’all.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 25
Arby's, who also owns Buffalo Wild Wings, is buying Jimmy Johns. Their new slogan: We Have the Meats - Beef, Chicken, and Elephant
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 20
White Dudes Watching Nanette: This isn’t comedy! Same Dudes Watching an 45 Minutes of Racial Slurs: Now, it’s not what you’d *traditionally* call comedy, but hear me out...
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 20
Replying to @thebradpinder
Gathering Storm expansion for Civ 6. I am VERY far behind.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 20
Wait six months for a game. Put child down for nap. Game crashes. Spend two hours updating computer. Intro starts. Child cries. GUESS I’LL PLAY THIS ONCE HE GOES TO COLLEGE.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 19
Replying to @999RPMs
Someday, liberals and conservatives will break bread at the same table again. Well, by table, I mean mildly radioactive log. And by bread, I mean campfire-scorched squirrel pelt. And by break, I mean wrestle over in a blighted, post-nuclear hellscape. But basically same thing.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 19
Liberals value being right, even if it means losing. Conservatives value winning, even at the cost of being wrong. This wasn’t always the case, but it has gotten worse. And now the apotheosis: a president who is very good at winning and almost always wrong.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 17
Them: STATES RIGHTS! STATES RIGHTS! STATES RIGHTS! Us: Okay. Car emissions. Them: No, just for the racist stuff.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 13
You’re adorable. Like a puppy pretending to be a grown dog. Good night, Dippin Dots.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 13
Happy to apologize for any mocking of your gender I’ve done. Please point out where I’ve done it or where I’ve misgendered you after your first correction. I’ll wait, Dippin Dots.
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Robert Clarke-Chan Sep 13
Replying to @thebradpinder
Google “new SNL cast racist”. I assume he’ll be on top for at least the next coupla weeks before the show does something awful on the premiere.
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