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Chase Mitchell
Emmy-losing writer for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.
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Chase Mitchell 15h
Just heard a movie trailer start w/ "Take one French village, add a dash of spice..." Uh you could've stopped at village pal - I'm fuckin in
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Chase Mitchell Dec 17
Hey, uh, I heard Night At The Museum 3 has a bunch of shit about North Korea in it too
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Chase Mitchell retweeted
Playboy Dec 15
We ranked the top 50 funniest twitter accounts of 2014 (ft. , , & more) -
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Chase Mitchell Dec 14
The logo for Au Bon Pain should be a guy in an airport speed-eating over a garbage can.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 14
"I just wanna write songs parents fuck to." - Van Morrison
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Chase Mitchell Dec 12
New pope decrees: - All pets go to heaven - Tall hats are sexy - Cardinal Tom is a fuckface - LOST finale never happened - Adnan did it
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Chase Mitchell Dec 11
It's a lot easier to jog my memory about when something happened if you tell me how much Chandler Bing weighed that year.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 9
Hold on, GrubHub, I have to put on my door-answering pants.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 8
So cool that William and Kate get to sit courtside at a basketball game, what a special moment for them
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Chase Mitchell Dec 4
Soup was much less successful under its original name, "Wet Lunch."
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Chase Mitchell Dec 4
. this is what we in the comedy community call "losing the crowd"
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Chase Mitchell Dec 4
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Chase Mitchell Dec 4
Sorry mom, I'd love to come home for Christmas but my session expired while buying airline tickets and I am not typing all that shit again.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 3
I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 3
"Staten Island Grand Jury" is maybe the worst combination of words I can think of.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 3
I think I saw this episode of the news already.
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Chase Mitchell Dec 2
Madonna's arms look like two bundles of TV cables wrapped in old panty hose.
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Chase Mitchell Nov 30
There's a mosquito flying around this airport TGI Friday's not biting anyone, like it knows our blood has stopped pumping.
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Chase Mitchell Nov 27
So cool that all these marching bands from across the country came to New York to perform on a muted TV while your mom makes a casserole.
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Chase Mitchell Nov 26
Ready to feel old? You have inoperable colorectal cancer.
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